Some Internet love leads to marriage
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Cyber relationships.
Is this person really who they profess to be?
I had survived a very nasty marriage brake up and an even for more devastating divorce which lasted
almost 5 years. The divorce cost me every dollar I owned plus I was about $50,000.00 in debt. Eventually I got
tired of the fighting and I gave all the assets to my ex wife and my daughter, who together tried to kill me and
make it seem that I had taken the wrong combination of prescription drugs. Needless to say my head was screwed
up pretty good after I learned these facts during the divorce. But the good thing was, I was still alive and in
good health after all the drugs had dissipated from my system. I was too afraid of women to start dating again,
despite the fact I was very alone and also very lonely. So a relative introduced me to internet dating. I was very hesitant at first, but was later convinced
that it was safe and that I did not really have to meet anyone unless or until I felt comfortable. So I took the
plunge. I was really surprised at the caliber of woman I met. I met rich women. I also met the super rich woman
also. But to me it was only entertainment and I was not about ready to meet anyone of them. But that was what I
needed. I needed to communicate with woman who had different attitudes from the woman I had been married to for
almost 20 years. I met many women. I chatted many hours each day. I was not working at the time. I was really reluctant
to leave my room. My wife had threatened to have me killed and I believed she would certainly try it. So, I spent
a lot of time in my room. And this was a great thing for me to reach out to others. It was a new experience for
me. But I knew how I would use my time with this new media. I enjoyed these cyber relationships. I was honest with
the ladies I talked to. I informed them that I could not come and meet them at this time. In fact I soon learned,
after a couple of the women showed up at my doorstep, that it would have been better to communicate with women
far away in other countries. I did get to know someone who had come to my home. We developed a very good romantic and sexual relationship. We spoke of marriage and I really believed I was beginning to fall in love with her. After several
months my nephew told me of a lady he had been having a relationship with and was considering marrying. He asked
if I would take a look at her and give him my opinion of her looks. Although I expressed that I think that it was
his opinion what was important and not mine. I did agree to give him my assessment. So he emailed me picture of
her. I am glad he emailed me a picture of her instead of me meeting them someplace, because we were both having
the same kind of relationship with the same woman. She spent one night with me and the other night with him alternatingly.
I wondered if she had her own place because she lived with us. Him on one night me the next. One week end she spent
with me and the alternate week end she would spend with him. I never told him. But I did tell her that I knew about
him. I did not see her anymore except when she came to my door to pick up her things she had left at my home over
the months.
I found it difficult to believe that this lovely lady who promised to love me for ever, this woman who I had kissed
all over in the most private of places had been kissed in the same places by my nephew as well. After the initial
anger subsided I forget about the lady. She had broken up with my nephew a few weeks later. He could not imagine
what had happen since they had been having such a beautiful relationship. Personally I think she could deal with the suspicion
that I might tell my nephew about the concurrent relationship I had had with her. But I would not have told him
any way. I never did, even after their break up. But my nephew had also had several concurrent relationships, so,
he did not grieve long. But when we believe in these people we meet online. How sure can we be that they are all
they claim to us to be?
I clearly remember one lady whose profile said she had a few extra ponds. Her photo showed a very attractive slightly
over weight lady. So feeling better and more confident about meeting people. I met her at a popular restaurant.
My! I had explained to her what I would be wearing. But she had said she was not sure what she would be wearing,
but she would be sure find me when I got there. Instead of the very attractive slightly overweight lady in the
picture she sent to me. A three hundred pounds plus lady came over to my table and introduced her self as the lady
I came to meet. Though I was shocked, I kept my cool and stayed there long enough to finish two cups of tea with
her. But needless to say I never chatted with her again or answered my phone when she called. For that matter since
she did call from other phones and catch me off guard if I did not recognize the phone number when someone called
I did not answer my phone. After a few of these cyber relationships, I learned why my nephew had several cyber
relationships going concurrently, because, one never knew who they were talking to in the chat rooms. Even when
you could see the other person during video chats. You could not see all of them. Or, you could not see them clearly.
The most important thing to me was the personality of the person could be concealed and one could pretend very
well for a few moments every so often. To me the greatest value was I could "cyberly" meet more people
on line and pre screen them with chats. But that was all it was, just a prescreening device for me. But I could
never be sure who I would be actually meeting.
I once chatted with a beautiful blond lady, who seemed to have the sweetest personality and the sexiest voice.
I could hardly wait to meet her. But on the way to her apartment, she wanted to let me know she was not a real
woman. We both apologized to the other and went our separate ways. I was seeking a woman, a real woman. To me either
it is a woman or it was a man, no in between. But I did not get mean and call him vulgar names or something. After
all he had told me before we had gotten into bed and both gotten naked. Otherwise for us to have been between the
sheets in each others arms and me to have found out that he had the same plumbing as I, then, I would have been
very irritated. Virtual love affairs are still virtual. Virtual means it is not really as it seems, no matter how
real it seems.
For me though, this medium had been exactly what I had needed to recover from the emotionally crippling relationship
I had survived. I also learned , from my marriage, that even real relationships often are not what they seem to be. My best friend,
who had had a 12 year secret love affair with my wife was not even a virtual friend. And my wife of twenty years
was someone I did not know. She was of course a real person, just not the person she led on to be. So the people
we live with every day in a relationship may surprise us and prove to us that even those relationships are less
than virtual. But I have found someone over the internet that I will be marrying this year. She is someone I probably would have never
met had it not been for the cyber relationship we first formed through the internet. She is from Asia. It has been
fun learning each other's language. At first we needed a computer with us so we could use a translator to communicate.
But when it came to making love we needed only the language of love, which was composed of beautiful sounds which
needed no words.
Booker, from Chicago.